Kabu (Pokemon Sword and Shield)
Kabu is a Gym Leader from the Galar region, and serves as the fire type Gym Leader, as well as the Third roadblock in the player's way. Originally from Hoenn, he has lived a fairly turbulent life, gotten depression, uninstalled his depression, and arose from the ashes as a sexy phoenix, better known as the pussy scrambler. While many believe this is because he fucks incredibly hard, that is not true. It is due to the fact he has found a way to cook using his 75 kilogram cock. The erection of his legacy. Originally, Kabu gave up his original penis when he had depression to Steven Stone, because Steven was hungry. When he wasn't depressed, he built himself an old wooden penis to replace the mistake he made. After he built his penis, Kabu was set upon going to Galar, to redeem himself and make himself a new home. Unfortunately, the news came out, that Gamefreakazoid would not be able to have all 1,000 Pokemon in the game due to reasons that no one cares for. Kabu feared the news, especially because The Pokemon Company hates fire types, and there aren't really a lot of them. Wanting to get his beloved Moltres past the National Dex censors, and to give up his data for future installments to forget this issue, Kabu forced his Moltres' Pokeball (A Beast Ball, though where he obtained such a Pokeball, no one knows) into his urethra for safe keeping. Unfortunately, he accidentally shoved it too deep, and it ended up in his left testicle. However, he would only learn of this issue when Biggie Smalls kicked him in the dick behind an Arby's, which unleashed Moltres, and shattered his old wooden penis into nothing but dust, and his left ball literally exploding. Moltres, feeling sorry for destryoing the very phallus that Kabu had poured blood, sweat, milk, tears and cum into, rebirthed itself into the penis he has today. Thanks to its constant heat that he can change at will, he currently uses it for cooking, but also to honor the legacy of his dear friend that he failed. Typically, his manner of cooking involves him pouring the ingredients into your ass/pussy and mixing them all up, utilizing the love juices that are excreted from both parties. This makes him very wonderful as a chef, as the cooking process becomes more intimate with people he cooks for. Most people enjoy it when he scrambles eggs for everyone, and he likes it as long as everyone else does. He does not regret his choices, unlike the author. Penis Stats and Analysis Kabu's Red Hot Chili Pepper is one of the most powerful penises in the Pokemon universe. At a light 75 kilograms, Kabu is able to adjust the length and width of his penis. This helps with him laying eggs, which he must do now and then (one every two weeks, per the average), but the eggs are said to be some of the finest tasting eggs in Galar, which played a role in him deciding to become a chef. By cumming repeatedly in quick succession, he is also capable of using his cock as a machine gun, though it would be more accurate to call it a fire hose, as each of his orgasms produces an average of 60 liters of cum. He has an entire swimming pool dedicated to his semen, as normal containers he can't use to store his delicious semen. It has a unique taste, that is best described as a more cinnamon flavored apple cider. Unfortunately, the biggest downside to his current penis is that it generates an ungodly amount of smegma, that, while Kabu does utilize for cooking, does mean it requires a decent chunk of maintenance to use as a gun. Remember-- you also will be coming 60 liters when you do orgasm, so you will need to be prepared for handling that. However, for your first advanced penis, there is no better model to look towards than something akin to Kabu's Kock. Kabu's Sweet and Sexy Surprise For the sake of, Kabu has chosen to use his penis powers for good. This is one of Kabu's more famous recipes. Many believe that this is a recipe that can be replicated, but most only obtain genital complications, for a pro like Kabu can be the only one to pull this off without a hitch. Ingredients: * 5 pounds of smegma (A little extra is GREAT for garnish!) * 12 eggs. * 5 cups menstrual blood. (Normal blood is fine, but you really can't beat the taste of menstrual blood, especially with all of the!) * Flour, but you can just wing this step. * A pussy, but a fleshlight can help you're in a bind. * Baking Soda. * 80 Liters of Kabu's Man Milk. (The nice way of saying cum o/////o) Instructions: # ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊, ▊▊▊ ▊▊▊▊ ▊ ▊ ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. # ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. # ▊▊▊▊. ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. # ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. # ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊, ▊▊▊▊, ▊▊▊▊▊. Play Twister while you wait for Satan. # ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. # Serve with cream. Add smegma for garnish. Trivia Kabu's left ball weighs about 120 kilograms, while his right ball weighs about 150 kilograms. This is very unusual in a Galarian gym leader, as often, a Galarian Gym Leader's ballsack will weigh around 80 to 90 pounds, factoring in both testicles. While the weight discrepancy can be explained by the left ball literally exploding, the extra weight remains unknown, but research has suggested it has nothing to do with Moltres. What does have to do with Moltres becoming his penis is the fact eggs will occasionally need to be pushed out from his nutsack, an average of 1 every 2 weeks. Kabu has two extra nipples, one on each ballsack, but both produce milk rather than his semen.